no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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