We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
