Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
