he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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