I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
