I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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