I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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