I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
