You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
