So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
