I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize