She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
