i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
They left me at home... I'm a liability
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
