My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
