Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
