My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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