I need help removing her.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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