halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
