Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
