Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
