I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The best revenge is premature balding
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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