so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
