i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
well you can't waste a boner
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
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I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
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If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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