I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
