i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
