I want to walk on stilts...naked
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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