he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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