So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I had to cum in my sink.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize