Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
