reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
