It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
