Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
