I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
