i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
