I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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