He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
