You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
