every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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