May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
