Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
