Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Everything about him screamed your future.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
