were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
