He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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