It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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