Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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