I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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