Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
her vagine was all disorganized.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
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Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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