Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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