We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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