ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
