im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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