David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
