I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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