some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
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I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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