My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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