here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
