he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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