I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
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as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
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I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.