I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high