the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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