i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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