Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
