just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
