I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
