He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
soo... how was my night?
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