not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
